David Constantino - The Interview

Ladies and Gentlemen, we would like to introduce this weeks guest, World renown Non-confrontationalist, baseball analyst and awkward High School Dap giver: David Constantino.

JZ: Thank you for stopping by Dave. We know you are extremely busy this time of year with the baseball obsession and hockey.

DC: What do you meeeean bro, Shit was no problem son!

JZ: How is everything going with you these days Dave?

DC: Shit is off the hook son.

JZ: Care to elaborate on that a bit?

DC: Nah bro, Shit is just mad good right now son.

JZ: I see. Could you tell me a little bit about your new book entitled "From NYC to Hoboken and Back again"?

DC: Of course Bro. Heads like me need to keep a running log of their adventures. Hoboken is so hot right now, mad bitches. Plus it is much better vehicular access to the birthplace of the Rising Suns - The RC.

JZ: The Rising Suns? Who were they?

DC. What do you mean bro? Back in my 91% black High School, us Quasi - Jewish white kids rocking First down bubble jackets needed an intimidating name for our crew, thus the Rising suns! We even had a handshake!

JZ: I bet, back to Hoboken...Why do you travel there so much?

DC: What do you mean? (Dave emphasizes this remark with a chop like motion somewhere in between the Atlanta Braves tomahawk chop and the Nazi Salute...)My girl is there, she looks mad good bro...

JZ: True. After High School I understand you then went to college at the University at Buffalo?

DC: YUP...They had the hottest cheerleaders of all the schools I visited. Plus, I knew mad heads who were already going there...So it was a no brainer bro! Plus, that is where I met my first sweetheart...at the Ellie!

JZ: What the fuck is the Ellie?

DC: What do you mean bro? It was the off the hook convenient store in the dorms. We always used to get hooked up because I was banging the checkout girl. She gave great Brains. Mad free shit son, Auwwwww!

JZ: OK. So how have you acquired all of your baseball knowledge, and prediction prowess over the years?

DC: I have a network of heads all over the place hooking me up with the latest info on all baseball activities. If that fails, I just call Faf and read ESPN.com.

JZ: Interesting. We heard you have issued a bold proclamation that your roommate, and "Big Brother", ChrisDOPER Lynch will be the best man at your wedding. Is this true?

DC: Yup, Yup. We've been boys since Canibus dropped his first LP son. Kappa Sig for life. A thru B, Keep it in the tree. I wish I saw him more often though.

JZ: But I thought you were roommates?

DC: What do you mean! We are, just get mad busy though, you know?

JZ: Sure. We heard you devoted a whole chapter of you book to the Yankee/Red Sox Rivalry?

DC: Best in sports bro.

JZ: How do you respond to your critics who say your "Blitzkrieg text messaging" is unethical and overzealous?

DC: F them Bro. Heads are shook. Heads need to hear what I am saying, I let everyone know what the deal is in the sports arena. Besides, text messaging is much more efficient than using the phone.

JZ: Alllrighty then...What are you doing for New Years?

DC: Whatever everyone else does.

JZ: Can I get a couple top 5 Lists from you Now?

DC: YUP

JZ: Top 5 Favorite things in the world

DC: 1. Rangers Hockey (Followed by a very Loud clap, and "Whoooo" Scream)

2.The Path

3.Bootcamp Click (The 1st LP)

4.Highschool Baseball

5.MGM 301

JZ:Dave unfortunately I believe we are out of time, thank you so much for your time.

DC: No doubt son...I can probably catch the next path son! Mets to the Ship 2G6...